I have been through a mixture of emotions about this. I feel very very sad when I think about her, and i feels so unfair that her life was so short, and so random that such a small incident can just end someone's life (a dog ran onto the road, and her boyfriend swerved to avoid it, hit a tree instead...country roads, it seems Alstonville and this north coast area has more than its fair share of youth killed on roads.).
I haven't seen Ellie for at least a year, but the news of her death has still been extremely shocking. Sometimes I can just distance myself from it and it doesn't seem real, but yesterday at the funeral it felt all to real, and I feel quite emotional writing about it now.
I hadn't quite realised how much of a reunion it would be, but I guess I should have. So many people from high school were there, many coming up from Sydney and Brisbane and other places. At the airport I actually ran into two high school friends and co-incidentally we were all on the same (delayed by 2 hours)-flight. Plenty of time to catch up in the airport, and we said that is anyone were to organise a reunuion it would have been Ellie.
I guess the sense of how random life and death is, and how potentially transient, has really hit me. I feel that everything is so fragile and could be taken away at any moment, so you better treasure it while you have it.
Loosing contact with people happens, it is a natural part of modern life as we all move around, but when you have contact with people, you should make sure you treasure it, care for your friends, aquaintances, old friends, new friends, current friends, they are all friends.
There were a few comments yesterday at the gathering afterwards that 'this' (all of us together) would probably not be seen again, and certainly we hope not since it took a funeral to initiate it. It was good to catch up with everyone afterwards, despite the sad situation, lots of teachers from the school were there too and it was good to catch up with them too. In a small community, tragedies are magnified, and many people showed up to show solidarity and sadness at such a young life being lost.
I felt a very depressed sad after i first heard the news, a pessimistic feeling about the world being full of suffering and stuff. Somehow, despite my misty eyes at the moment, I feel more optimistic since the funeral. It was sad but lovely funeral service. A sudden death of a 22 yr old is going to be extremely sad, but the funeral gave you some hope to grasp.